I think it's about time that I pulled myself out of my self-pitying stupor! With work, illness and the anniversary of my mum's death hanging over me like a black cloud for the last few weeks I've been feeling tired, uncreative and more than a little bit 'bleh'.
Everytime that I've sat down to write something, it hasn't felt right; hasn't felt good enough. On my own blog. I'm not good enough for my own damn blog! And yet, I began this blog as an outlet - as somewhere to speak my own mind; as somewhere to be myself; and be braver with words than I am in real life.
Everytime that I've sat down to write something, it hasn't felt right; hasn't felt good enough. On my own blog. I'm not good enough for my own damn blog! And yet, I began this blog as an outlet - as somewhere to speak my own mind; as somewhere to be myself; and be braver with words than I am in real life.
I need to remember that I began this blog to obstinately pursue* my own individuality, happiness and dreams.
I'm also craving a little bit of a fresh start. So maybe, just maybe you'll be seeing some changes around here over the next few weeks. A new, fresh look and, shocking though this may be, some actual blogposts.
* It was so tempting to complete that sentence with "...to obstinately pursue where no-one has obstinately pursued before." So, so tempting.
I'm also craving a little bit of a fresh start. So maybe, just maybe you'll be seeing some changes around here over the next few weeks. A new, fresh look and, shocking though this may be, some actual blogposts.
* It was so tempting to complete that sentence with "...to obstinately pursue where no-one has obstinately pursued before." So, so tempting.
Clair ~ I think this is something that a lot of us struggle with. I know I sure do! I constantly struggle with how much to share on my blog, and I'm discovering that when I do share things about how I'm feeling the most wonderful things happen. #1 - I feel better just getting it out of my head and through my fingertips, and #2 - lots of lovely people validate me and support me. I hope you'll find that this is the case with you as well. And besides, it's your blog, honey! You post whatever you feel like.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you and sending you hugs across the ocean, my friend. xo!!!
I echo what Deb has said wholeheartedly. I too am at cross roads to an extent, start with what and where you want to and within your comfort boundary ... you never know where you might end up! :-)
ReplyDeleteI think if those things *hadn't* made you feel a bit below par then there'd be cause for concern.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you should go easy on the obstinate. Don't tell yourself it needs to be so hard. Just do what you want, when you want, be kind to yourself and enjoy it for what it is.
x
I agree with everyone's comments and all the lovely people in blog land are just fantastic and you will get their just take each day 1 day at a time. That is what I am saying to my self x
ReplyDeleteAnniversaries aren't easy. Be kind to yourself x
ReplyDeleteGood for you to acknowledge this. It is much more dfficult to share the tough times with the blogging world. I tend to hide behind saved up draft posts when I feel uninspired
ReplyDeleteGood for you to acknowledge this. It is much more dfficult to share the tough times with the blogging world. I tend to hide behind saved up draft posts when I feel uninspired
ReplyDeleteThe photo went beautifully with your words. Which were were also beautiful. I am all for fresh starts. Sometimes several in one day!
ReplyDeleteFeeling 'bleh' is OK under the circumstances - take it as a sign that you needed to slow down a little and reflect. When you're refreshed, things will become brighter on their own. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, my dear. Always thinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately Clair.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about not being good enough! I always think my words let me down in my posts. I have found Blogtoberfest really helpful for just getting something out there each day, without stressing over it.
Be kind to yourself on all fronts :o)
You've taken the first step and the rest will come when you are ready. That is the most amazing photo. I want to take photos like that.
ReplyDeleteHi Clair, I think a lot of us can identify with this feeling, I know I can. I often worry about what to write on my blog, or feel like if my head isn't in the right 'place' to do a good post, then I shouldn't do one.
ReplyDeleteBut really that's not the point, and our loyal followers would never desert us if a post or two was a bit 'blah' would they? I wouldn't desert you! We all like a bit of 'blah' now and then, it reminds us that we're real. x